My Christian Faith

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     My Christian faith and values have developed gradually over my lifetime. I have had no solitary experiences of conversion, or of “being saved.” Perhaps a good place to begin is with my personal creed, which I wrote as part of a men’s Bible study group.

I believe in God, in Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Spirit. I believe I was created by God, and that my purpose in life is to grow into my full potential as a child of God. I believe that I am called to serve my fellow man, especially my family, and to help them to grow into their full potential as children of God. I believe that when I die, I will return to God. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I try to follow his will as I live my life. I believe the key teachings of Jesus Christ are love, acceptance, respect, tolerance and forgiveness of all people, but not of all actions done by people. I believe that as human beings, we are limited in our ability to fully understand God, or God’s plan for us, or for the world. I believe that fully committed Christians will disagree on certain matters, and that this is also in accordance with God’s plan.  

The rest of this section comes from a paper I wrote early in my study at Moravian, in 2015.  Some things have changed since then, but my core beliefs remain the same.                                                   

God

     As indicated above, I most certainly believe in God, and I experience God in ways that I believe are different than for some Christians. Many of my Christian friends seem to perceive God as an all-knowing and all-powerful man-like being, who looks down from above and rules the world, sending rewards and punishment according to his will. I relate to God as a powerful, positive, ubiquitous force in the universe, without form or gender. I believe God most often works within us and among us, using ordinary people to execute his plans. I also believe God is capable of executing a miracle if God so chooses.

     My most powerful single experience in my relationship with God came many years ago at a Marriage Enrichment workshop, which my wife and I were facilitating. At that time, things were not going well for me in key areas of life, and I was pretty down on myself. I was depressed, and somewhat pre-occupied, brooding over my life situation. In the midst of this mindset, two phrases suddenly came into my consciousness. They came un-beckoned, but with crystal clear clarity. The two phrases were “God lives within me,” and “I am a child of God.” I did not know immediately the relevancy of these phrases, but I did feel somehow reassured that things were not as bad as they had seemed a few minutes earlier. Scripture exists (1 John chapters three and four are one example) to support the sentiment expressed in these phrases, but I did not get them from Scripture. They came to me directly from God.

     Over the next few weeks, through prayer and contemplation, I came to understand the meaning of those two phrases for me. The first one, “God lives within me,” is empowering. Because God lives within me, I can do things that I cannot do on my own. I can do things that are kind, generous, creative, inspiring, helpful, and noble. Yet I do not always act in accordance with the empowerment that God provides me. Sometimes I do things that are cruel, selfish, mean-spirited, disrespectful, or spiteful. When I act in these ways, I need forgiveness, and that is the relevancy of the second statement.  I am a child of God, and therefore entitled to God’s grace and forgiveness.  These two phrases have become foundational to my Christian faith.

Sin

     Sin is the intentional violation of God’s will. I believe this manifests itself in the form of anything that detracts from the value and/or dignity of a human being, including ourselves. If I cheat on my income tax, I have robbed my fellow citizens in some way, thus devaluing them. More importantly, I have devalued myself, by signing my name to false information. If I speak cruelly to my grandson, I devalue both of us. If I make a cutting, sarcastic remark to my wife, I minimize us both. 

     I recall being present when a young man spoke to his father in a very disrespectful manner. The father was visibly hurt, all the more so because I was present. After the father left, I had the courage to tell the son, “You make both your father and yourself look bad when you talk to him like that, especially in front of me. You need to treat your father with more respect.” In my mind, the young man sinned against his father, himself, and God.  God has created us capable of uplifting and encouraging each other. When we do this, we serve God and enhance both ourselves and others. This is love. Sin is the opposite.

Soul and Spirit

     Dr. Carl Clarke, author of the Marriage Enrichment program, suggested I should never use the phrase “my soul,” as that implies I have a soul. Rather, I should say “The soul that I am,” reflecting that I am a soul. I do not agree with that sentiment, but it is interesting to reflect on it. Certainly, it is difficult to fully understand, let alone articulate, the concept of the soul. My best conceptualization is that my complete being is made up of body, mind, soul, and spirit, all combining to make “me.” Thus, I am comfortable with saying my soul, just as I will say my mind, my body, or my spirit.

     With that preamble, I believe my soul is that part of me that preexisted my life on earth, and will continue after my physical demise. My soul is in constant relationship with God. My soul is wise, and leads me to that which is good and noble.

My spirit is that part of me that is in communication with other souls, sharing wisdom, truth, joy and pain. There are times, usually early in the day when I am alone, that a sense of sadness comes over me. If I am willing, I can easily weep. My best understanding is that the sadness comes from the universal subconscious, and my spirit is the connecting agent that brings the sadness into my consciousness. I can also experience joy from the same source. However, I do not ponder the joy nearly as much as the sadness, probably because I am content to simply let the joy be.

Guilt

     Guilt is the price we pay for sin. Sin separates us from God, and guilt is the pain we feel as a result of that separation. Repentance and subsequent forgiveness restore us to God, and we can let go of the guilt. However, there are times when we are not able to accept God’s forgiveness, and the guilt lives on. 

     I have many regrets in life, but only two things of which I am truly ashamed. With both of them, I have acknowledged and apologized for my transgressions to all involved, including God. I am almost healed in one situation, meaning my guilt is almost completely gone. With the other situation, I only recently tried to “make things right” with the other person. To my surprise, that person claims to have no memory of my transgression. Since the event took place fifty years ago, that is perhaps understandable, but I wonder if the other person has “blocked” it from their memory. That person told me to forgive myself.  I seek to do so.

     I spent 26 years of my life directly involved with healing animals. I also worked to help their owners understand the ways to prevent illness and promote health. During the last ten years of my career, I worked as a nutritionist for dairy farmers, helping them feed their animals ways that kept them healthy and productive. I am fortunate that in the dairy industry, there is a definite economic return to maintaining healthy, comfortable animals. Thus, the people whom I advised were usually inclined to follow my suggestions to maximize the health and well-being of their herd.

      My education taught me that some diseases are caused by infectious agents, but  also that stress can greatly influence our response to these agents. There are other diseases, most notably the various forms of cancer, where our knowledge of the cause is much more primitive. While humans are certainly different from animals, we share many things from a physical health and disease viewpoint. 

     Mental and emotional health is of much more concern with humans than with animals, although there are certain animal behaviors that their owners sometimes want to alter. These include aggressiveness and problems with house soiling. There is a field within veterinary medicine that focuses on working with the animals on an emotional level to change these behaviors, but I had very little activity in that arena.

     I had one interesting conversation with my former partner, who still is practicing small animal medicine. He tells me he no longer “restrains” animals. By adjusting his own state of mind, he is able to influence the animal and put them at ease, so that they do not resist whatever it is he needs to do with them. Certainly, this does not include surgery, where anesthesia is still needed. However, with routine examinations and things such as clipping toenails, restraint is not required. This is very different from when I did small animal practice.

     I share my background and experience with animal health and disease because it strongly influences my thoughts when I shift to human beings. I do not think that all illness begins in the mind, or that a positive mindset can prevent all illness. After all, sooner or later we will all succumb to the failing of our physical body, no matter how positive our outlook.

     I do, however, believe that we can minimize physical illness by finding ways to relieve stress, and by accepting and living out the love of God. This may manifest itself in that a healthy mind facilitates us taking care of our physical body. For example, people often overeat or abuse alcohol or drugs in an effort to ease their emotional pain. Taken to excess, these habits contribute to physical illness. I also believe that stress and anxiety can directly have negative impacts on our physical health, without the behaviors mentioned above. I do not think that God directly intervenes in our lives to send us illness, either mental or physical. Yet the power of guilt, when we have sinned and not allowed ourselves to be forgiven, is a powerful stress, and could well influence our health.

Scripture

     I believe Scripture, as presented in the Bible, was written by people inspired by God. I am aware that different versions of the bible read differently, and the difference sometimes implies different meaning. I am also aware that even within the same Bible, there are differences in how the Gospels record the life of Jesus, and many other events. Some Scriptures seem to directly contradict others.

     Keeping all of the above in mind, I believe Scripture must be read in an attitude of prayer, asking “what is God saying to me” with this verse or verses. I believe committed Christians will not always agree on the meaning of the exact same words from Scripture. I think this is all in accordance with God’s plan for us. He wants us to see things differently, and then to discuss and even argue about the meaning of his word. He wants us to do this in an atmosphere of love and respect. Unfortunately, there seems to be much intolerance among Christian communities when differences come to the surface.

     I believe all of us “filter” Scripture by way of our preexisting beliefs. The clearest example of this to me comes in our interpretation of Luke 14:26: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” I have never met a Christian who thinks this verse is to be taken literally. 

     I believe this is because our preexisting understanding of Christ is such that we cannot accept that he wants us to hate our parents and other relatives. So we “interpret” it to mean that we should love Christ more than our family. Indeed, the New Life version of the Bible has this modified wording, as does Matthew when he relates the story. But most versions of Scripture quote Luke as above, and we Christians respond, “But that is not what he really meant”.

     In contrast to this verse, I think of Matthew 22:37-39: “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” My experience is that most Christians believe this is a universal commandment, to be interpreted just as it reads, and to be followed by all Christians for all time. The words fit well with our preexisting understanding of Christ.

     So with the Scripture from Luke, we say the exact wording does not apply to us, and with the one from Matthew, we say it applies to everyone all the time. These are the two extremes. There are many other scriptures where intelligent and committed Christians will disagree. I refer to one such situation later in this paper, but countless others exist as well. Therefore, I believe interpretation of Scripture is very personal and must be done in conjunction with prayer and an open heart for each of us to truly understand God’s message to us.

Physical Life and Death

    Like most humans, I have far more questions about the meaning of physical life and death than answers. Physical life begins with the union of egg and sperm in the body of a woman. Death is the end of our physical life, marked by the cessation of any activity within our physical body. Our heart stops, and any measurable brain activity ceases. Our ability to communicate by worldly means also stops.

     Part of the mystery of life and death is: “Why am I here? What purpose am I intended to fulfill?” My answer to the question is presented in my personal creed at the beginning. I believe I am here to serve and to grow. The growth will be intellectual and spiritual, moving me toward my full personhood as a creation of God. There are lessons for my soul to learn and to carry forward into the next life.  The service will be to help my fellow man grow as well. 

     A fascinating concept to me is the possibility that the only reality of life is consciousness. I am conscious of having a physical body, with arms and legs and fingers and toes, etc. I am conscious that at times I feel hungry, and am satisfied when I eat. The same is true of thirst and drink. At times I have pain, and at least so far in my life, an eventual relief from the pain. Yet does any of it truly exist beyond my consciousness, or does only my consciousness exist?

     An example of our consciousness experiencing something that does not truly exist occurs whenever we watch television. We “see” people and objects on the screen in front of us. Our consciousness is “fooled” by waves of light being transmitted to our retinas, and a signal sent through our optic nerve to our brain, to give us the impression of people and things on our television screen. In the case of television, we know the images are not actually there inside the set. 

       Is it possible that everything we associate with this physical life actually consists of signals coming in from sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell to our brain, and in turn creating our conscious experience, when in reality there is nothing but the signal? This wonderment leads to another. Is there any other consciousness beyond my own? All I truly know is that my consciousness experiences others. Do they really exist, or do I simply experience them? I should acknowledge that my thoughts regarding consciousness are not original, but I am not able to recall and give credit to the people who introduced me to them.

     One of the key beliefs shared by Christians is that there is life after physical death. This is summed up most famously in John 3:16, when Jesus says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. I wonder if Jesus’ meaning of the word “eternal” truly meant forever in reference to time, or did he possibly mean “complete.” Does our soul continue with a life experience totally different from this physical life?

     The image that makes the most sense to me is that our soul exists as kind of an “ether,” with no physical substance. Prior to our physical birth, we are a part of God. At some point after conception, our soul becomes associated with either an actual physical body, or the consciousness of a physical body. Our soul remains associated with that body throughout our physical life, and experiences all the pain, joy, struggle, triumph, sadness and happiness that comes with living in this world. 

     When we die, the fate of our soul depends on a fundamental choice which we have made during our physical life. At some point, either in a single moment, or more likely over the course of months and even years, we made the choice to accept love or to embrace evil. Accepting love is to me synonymous to accepting Christ. If we have made this choice, at a deep and subconscious level, then our soul returns to God, and we have eternal life. If we have chosen evil, then our soul dies with our body, or perhaps proceeds to hell.

     More strongly than any of my thoughts above, I believe we humans simply do not know the meaning of physical life and death. We do the best we can to understand and make sense of it all. We create theories in our mind. Some people get very passionate about their theories and criticize those who do not agree. I am hopeful that with death will come some continuation of consciousness, and that some advanced understanding will come with it. Until then, I simply do the best I can to understand God’s will, and to live the life that he calls me to lead.

Salvation

     I have wrestled with the concept of salvation for many years. Specifically, I wonder what it means to have “accepted” Jesus Christ. Does it mean that we believe the story of the virgin birth, the life of Jesus of Nazareth, his crucifixion and resurrection? If so, then most of the world’s population is not entitled to salvation, with a large proportion of them never having had the opportunity to even hear all the above information. How can a loving God create and endorse this plan? The God I worship would not.

     I believe the answer to this personal dilemma lies in the very first verses of the gospel of John. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Verse 14 continues, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

     It seems clear that “the Word” is Jesus Christ. For me personally, those people who have accepted the word and words of Christ have accepted Christ. Let me be clear that I believe the fundamental precept of Christianity expressed in John 14:6 “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’.” 

     While I fully endorse that salvation can only be attained through acceptance of Christ, I wonder if Christ does not sometimes present his truth and essence in forms other than Jesus of Nazareth. I use the word “wonder” because I am far from certain that I have all of this figured out. In some situations, does Christ present himself/herself simply in the form of “the Word?” So people who have never heard of Jesus of Nazareth, or the virgin birth, or his crucifixion, or his resurrection can accept Christ by accepting his words, from whatever source they hear it. 

     Acceptance, to me, must occur at a subconscious level. It does not mean we consciously hear the words and the teaching of Christ, and mentally or verbally say, “Yes, I agree with that, and I accept it.” Rather, it means we take the teachings into the deepest part of our personhood, our very soul, and incorporate them into who we are. At that point, we have truly accepted Christ, and we will automatically live a life that reflects this. 

     That does not mean we will not sin. But our orientation will be to do good in the world, and to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. This will be true for those who have never heard of him. It will also be true for those who, for whatever reason, cannot accept that Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah, but who nonetheless have accepted his teachings, meaning “the Word.”

The Nature of Man

     My opinion of the nature of men and women flows out of my understanding of salvation. I believe the vast majority of people, probably over 95 percent, have accepted Christ as I define such acceptance. The result of this is that almost all people are “oriented to the good.” That simply means that in most of their endeavors, they seek to do what is right. This does not mean they will always succeed in doing what they think is right. All of us fall short of our own aspirations at times. All of us are subject to temptation and sin. 

     It is also very important to my Christian belief system that good people, who have accepted Christ, will disagree. I am most impatient and frustrated with people who condemn others as evil, or immoral, simply because they take a different view. This came up frequently in discussions with my father. He often decried, with passion and conviction, the morals of George W. Bush. Yet all my dad really knew of Bush was his political views. By contrast, he thought Bill Clinton, an acknowledged perjurer, had high moral standards. He seemed to believe this because he and Clinton agreed on political issues.

     I often say of myself that I “live in the gray zone.” I can see and relate to almost any point of view. One exception is that I cannot relate to those who connect political opinions to moral fortitude. Therefore my dad and I were destined to clash when such topics came up.

     Although I believe that perhaps as many as 95 percent of all people are “saved,” and thus oriented to the good, I also recognize the small majority who have rejected “goodness.” This can also be said that they have rejected love, and thus rejected Christ. These people have by contrast embraced evil, which in turn correlates with accepting Satan. When I witness the  atrocities of this world, I have to believe that Satan is active within the hearts of some individuals.

Prayer

     My personal definition of prayer is “intentionally communicating with God.” I try to pray in a formal manner every day, usually soon after awakening in the morning, when my mind is most clear. By formal, I mean I have a regular structure and list of prayer items that I bring before God, during a time devoted solely to God. 

     My structure is to begin with thanks for all the blessings God has given me. These include material blessings, health, career, and relationships. The relationships include my wife, my children, grandchildren, siblings, and then friends, colleagues, co-workers, and finally God and Jesus Christ. After thanks, I proceed to requests. I ask God to continue to bless me in the ways I listed, but also ask for help in areas of my life that trouble me. I include the serenity prayer, and finally ask God to deepen and strengthen my relationship with God and with Jesus Christ. I then pray by name for a list of people and groups of people, including myself, my wife, my children, grandchildren, siblings and their children, and then others of whom I am aware have stressful situations.

      I next confess my sins and ask forgiveness. I reaffirm my acceptance of Jesus Christ, and my commitment to his teachings. Finally, I recognize God as the omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient creator and sustainer of all, and ask that he be with me in this day, and to help me to serve him. I ask him to keep me safe and help me to be safe in my driving and other activities, that I bring no harm to any other person.

       Beyond this formal prayer time, which sometimes I neglect to do, I often consciously call on God throughout the day with specific situations. Often it is to thank God for a joyful moment. Sometimes it is a plea for guidance during a challenging time. Prayer is a regular and important part of my life.

     I think the biggest benefit of prayer is to keep me connected to God, and to God’s will. I do not think that God sits on his throne and listens, and then decides based on my prayer that he will help this person, but not that one, or heal this situation but ignore another. I do believe that there is a spiritual connection between human beings, and that through prayer we can touch and help others through that spiritual connection. This can occur even if the other person does not pray and does not believe as I do. I believe this is part of the love and the miracle of God.

Homosexuality and Christianity

    While the assignment did not specifically call for this subject to be addressed, I must do so to fully cover my Christian faith. For much of my life I was indifferent toward the gay community. That changed when I became business partners with a man who was extremely homophobic. The more he ranted and raved against them, the more I came to believe he was unfair in his attitude, and the more sympathetic I became to the gay population. 

     My sympathy increased when the daughter of close friends “came out of the closet.” She was at the time a United Methodist pastor. Her name is Beth Stroud. She was “defrocked” by the Methodist Church, which made national news. I know her to be an extremely fine Christian person.

     My attitude of acceptance of homosexuals was increased when I was on the board of directors of the Marriage Enrichment organization. A motion was introduced to change our by-laws to state that our program was for male/female marriages only. Alenda and I strongly opposed this motion, but it passed anyway.   We were discouraged by the selective use of scripture by the proponents of the motion.

      One of these scriptures was 1 Corinthians, 6: 9-10: “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men…will inherit the kingdom of God.”

       Among the board of directors mentioned above were women who had prominent roles in their churches, and who sometimes spoke during church services. I asked them why they did not honor 1 Corinthians 14:34: “... women should be silent in the churches.  For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate, as the law also says.” They replied that it did not apply to our modern age. Both Scriptures come from the same letter, by the same author, to the same people, but they maintained that while one applies today, the other does not. How did they make that decision? See my thoughts a few pages ago.

     I find it interesting that Christ never mentions homosexuality. Apparently it was not an important part of his message. From my personal reading of the Bible, it seems to me that adultery is condemned far more often than homosexuality. Yet I find far less concern among Christians toward people who commit adultery than there is toward people who are gay.

     As I do not know the exact circumstances that Paul (believed to be the author of 1stCorinthians) was referring to, I cannot be certain of his meaning. Is he referring to all acts of homosexuality, or to those conducted with multiple partners, with no long term commitments? My sympathies are with gay individuals who seek a long term, committed relationship (marriage) with another who happen to be the same sex. I believe that is God’s attitude as well. 

     I respect those who see this situation differently than I do. My biggest concern exists when I detect contempt and even hatred in the voice and face of those Christians who believe homosexuality to be a sin. To me, those people have clearly missed the message that Christ brought to earth, while many gays and lesbians have received it. 

       The above paragraphs represent by far the most exhaustive revelation of my Christian values that I have ever expressed. It has indeed been a growth experience for me to dig deep, clarify them in my own mind, and then convert them to words. I am aware that I am still on the path of spiritual growth. New awareness and beliefs are hopefully still to come.